


Better Left Unsaid

by fmpsimon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26399653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fmpsimon/pseuds/fmpsimon
Summary: Mikasa is going to talk to Eren and Jean is worried this is his last chance to tell her how he really feels about her. But some things are just better left unsaid.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86





	Better Left Unsaid

Jean was restless. With each passing hour, it seemed, they lost another comrade. He wasn’t worried—not about himself. He’d made peace with his own death a long time ago, but somehow he had been lucky to make it this far. He didn’t put much stock in fate or destiny, but maybe there was something he had left to do, and maybe that was why he was still alive. He eyed Mikasa as she talked quietly with Armin. There were certainly things he’d left unsaid, especially where she was concerned.

It had been something like love at first sight when he had met her, but he had long since given up on that idea. He hadn’t _loved_ her at all—it had been nothing more than physical attraction back then. But now, years later, he could say with absolute certainty that he _loved_ her. She was strong, stubborn, loyal, smart, and he wasn’t afraid to stand up to her and tell her when she was being an idiot. Another girl might slap him or yell or throw a fit when faced with the kind of criticism he had doled out to her, but she took it with grace and poise. Whether she agreed with him was another matter.

He perked up as her conversation with Armin ended and she started walking towards away. She was going to talk to Eren—to try and reason with him, if such a thing was possible anymore. He wasn’t sure one way or the other. Eren was likely just as bull-headed as he always had been, so he was doubtful that she would be able to talk any sense into him.

“Hey, Mikasa.” He caught her arm with a gentle touch.

She turned, frowning. He knew the determined look on her face—she didn’t have time for this. “What is it?”

“It’s really starting to look like we’re not gonna make it out of this alive, huh?” he said with a rueful laugh. “I just want to get everything out in the open, y’know? No regrets.” Her face softened and he didn’t want to let go of her arm; he didn’t want to lose that connection just yet. It was difficult to hide the pain in his eyes, difficult to keep his gentle grip on her without squeezing too tightly.

“Okay,” she said, glancing down at his hand. She didn't look bothered by it, but he pulled his hand away all the same.

“Sorry.” He cleared his throat, clenching his fist as if trying to hold onto her warmth. “I just don’t want to go off and die without telling you how I feel.”

“Jean, please,” she said, holding up a hand. “Don’t complicate this by—”

“By adding feelings?” he interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

She sighed, defeated. “Yes.”

“Too late for that,” he muttered with a frown. "Look, I don't think you can reason with Eren, and you could just end up getting yourself killed."

"Who cares?" she said cooly, tightening her belt. She straightened up, pushing her hair out of her face. "You just said we're all probably going to die."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it." He widened his stance, squeezing his hands until his fingernails dug into his palms. "I've made peace with my own death, but not yours. Let me come with you."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Again, the cold tone.

"Why's that?" he said, his eyes hard.

"Because you might fly off the handle," she said simply. "Like you're doing now." He rolled his eyes. "Jean, this is Eren. I've known him almost all my life. He isn't going to kill me. He's trying to save us—all of us."

"Yeah, and how many of us have gotten killed in the process? How many innocent lives have been lost already?" His eyes flashed.

"Is this what you wanted to say?" she said at length. "You wanted to give me one last lecture? And then, what? Go out in a blaze of glory?" She clenched her fists, but her eyes were hidden behind her bangs. "Are you so careless with your own life that it doesn't even matter to you?!"

"I never said that! And how are _you_ any better? Rushing off to reason with someone who doesn't want to talk!" He took a step, then stopped with a sigh. How close could he get? Armin was probably looking this way right now, having heard Mikasa raise her voice. She wasn't one to do that lightly. He lowered his voice. "It's not like I _want_ to die. Who _wants_ to die?"

She met his gaze. "I think Eren wants to die."

"Eren's an idiot." He took another step. "He always has been. Suicidal bastard." He crossed his arms for a moment, then relaxed. "Do you think we can save everyone?"

She averted her eyes, drawing her arms in around her. "I used to think I could do anything if I set my mind to it. Now...now I just hope." She glanced at Armin. "I feel powerless to stop any of this. I can't help Armin. I can't help Eren. I just thought...maybe if I could talk to him...maybe I could make him see what he's doing is wrong."

"I want to come with you," he said again.

"Jean."

"I won't say anything," he pressed. "But I'll be there...if anything happens." He reached out and grasped her hand, surprised at how well hers fit in his own. He stared at their hands, brushing his thumb over scars he'd never noticed or never been this close to see. "You know, I had a dream that you and I were happy. There weren't any titans, there wasn't any war, and we had a little family."

She looked up, catching his eye. "That sounds like a nice dream. But…just a dream." She squeezed his hand, then let go. "You should stay here and keep your distance. Okay?"

He nodded stiffly. "If that's what you want."

"I do," she said. "But...what did you want to say?"

He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Maybe it's better left unsaid, after all." He furrowed his brow, watching her go. He wanted to see his dream become a reality. He wanted to be with her, have a family, live in peace, away from all this—if that was even possible anymore. He wanted to survive. He wanted to live.

"Mikasa!" he called after her. She turned. "I—um...just come back, okay? I'll say it then."

She gave him a small smile. "You can show me."

"Eh?" He blushed. "Wait! Now, I'm definitely going with you!" He ran after her and she eyed him, pursing her lips. "Okay, then, just this." He grasped her arms and pressed his lips against hers, just for a second. She blinked at him for a moment, before the corners of her lips twitched into a smile. "Be safe."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this please leave a comment and/or kudos! Also if you want to talk about anything, feel free to hit me up on [tumblr!](https://franniebanana.tumblr.com/)


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